Fasting has been kind of a sticky issue for me because one of my biggest struggles over the past few years has been making an idol out of food. Over time, that's manifested itself in a whole bunch of different ways, but the underlying obsession/fear/sin habit has been pretty constant. One of the things that I was most nervous about last summer and that also scares me most about next summer is that the Ops Cor position asks me to be focused on food all the time. Granted, I know that my true focus should be on my Father and the kingdom work going on at the camp and that the food stuff is just one physical manifestation of that, but even though I 'know' all that - it's easier said than done.
Because of that, fasting is a discipline that I've been reluctant to test out. I'm always afraid that it's either going to make other issues worse or that I'm going to be practicing it from an insincere and divided heart.
But when we went through this chapter a couple of weeks ago with the girls I'm discipling at Davis, I also decided to read through John Piper's Hunger for God at the same time, and it was so helpful and encouraging. These two lines in particular stuck out to me:
"The issue is not food per se. The issue is anything and everything that is, or can be, a substitute for God [...] Anything can stand in the way of true discipleship - not just evil, not just food, but anything. Nor should it be surprising that the greatest competitors for our devotion and affection for God would be some of His most precious gifts." (16)
"[Fasting] is the faithful enemy of fatal bondage to innocent things." (22)
I needed to hear that because it applies to everything I was/am afraid of. Just like food isn't the real, underlying issue for me - it's all kinds of insecurities and control issues that I put before God - food isn't the real underlying issue behind fasting either - it's putting God before everything else, even things that could otherwise be really great things. This resonates with me so deeply because I've felt these insecurities pull me so far away from intimacy with my Father in the past few years. Not always, obviously, but often enough.
All that to say that tomorrow I'm planning on fasting from solids for the day, and I'm looking forward to just laying all that aside for the purpose of just sitting at peace with my heavenly Father. Looking forward to hearing from you all soon!
You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free... If therefore the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed.
Hey Pearl! Thanks for the post. I love the honesty and realness of what you wrote. I really enjoyed the quote "[Fasting] is the faithful enemy of fatal bondage to innocent things." (22). I think this is so true of our lives and how the enemy trips human kind up as a whole. Those things that are so innocent, can keep us in bondage. I find that in my life sometimes the most innocent things, can take the place of God. I need to learn to cling to his freedom and fixate my attention on Him and Him alone. Thanks Pearl
ReplyDeleteGod captured my attention with the chapter on fasting in many similar ways Pearl. I am amazed and fascinated by how He reverberates our hearts in similar ways sometimes when we are in community. All creation is a manifestation of His word. Jesus is the supreme image of all things created. To know Jesus is to share communion. To share communion is to share a word. To share a word (sometimes) is to participate in the reverberation of spirit in different hearts, in different places, by One God. Perhaps we can call that mysterious process a Chronology of Grace. I like that.
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