Loves Like a Hurricane

I'm pretty sure the crazy wind that's blowing through Davis right now has been all over most of California in the past couple of days. I'm not sure if it's affected you guys, but I've heard there's been some pretty serious damage even down in L.A., and it's definitely crazy here.

So then yesterday, when I went to find a place to practice meditation, I went to one of my favorite places in Davis, which is the top of a parking structure on campus (and since Davis is so flat, it's essentially the tallest thing around for miles and miles).

When I first got there, the wind had died down a bit - still clearly present, but less forceful. So I sat and looked out for a little bit, and thought on the scripture that had been on my mind since my quiet time earlier that morning was Psalm 116:7 - "Be at peace, O my soul, for YHWH has dealt benevolently with you."

I'm here, Abba. I'm listening. 

The wind fit in so well with my meditation on that verse. It was peaceful and calming and felt so intimate, in the sense that it was just "us" up there - me and the wind - and it was everywhere.  I couldn't help but think of Foster's encouragement that "... the aim is to bring this reality into all of life. It is a portable sanctuary that is brought into all we are and do" (20) - the tabernacle of God is among men!

But then the wind started to pick up again. And it was windy. It even occurred to me at one point that I maybe shouldn't be sitting on a ledge six stories up, because I wasn't sure whether I was going to get blown off. And then all I could think of was two things: (1) "Please understand me: I am not speaking of some mushy, giddy, buddy-buddy relationship. All such sentimentality only betrays how little we know, how distant we are from the Lord high and lifted up who is reveal in Scripture" (19), and (2) Loves like a hurricane, I am some tiny little person getting swept away by the wind. 


But then in light of all that, the reality of my same little verse settled in even deeper: "Be at peace, O my soul, for YHWH has dealt benevolently with you."

And then these two lines were on my mind:

"The history of religion is the story of an almost desperate scramble to have a king, a mediator, a priest, a pastor, a go-between. In this way we do not need to go to God ourselves. Such an approach saves us from the need to change, for to be in the presence of God is to change" (24).

"And the wonderful thing about such an experience is that the self is quite forgotten. We are no longer worried about how we can make ourselves more at peace, for we are attending to the impartation of peace within our heats. No longer do we laboriously think up ways to act peacefully, for acts of peace spring spontaneously from within" (30).

I love that our God is SO intimate, all-present, searching, but that He is also SO strong, powerful, mighty. And the miracle of it all is that this God has dealt benevolently with me, and I can find peace in that by being freed from having to think about me. "We are no longer worried about how we can make ourselves more at peace..." because we are no longer worried about ourselves at all. When we're focused on the fullness of His intimacy and at the same time the fullness of His power, how could we not?

Now I'm obviously terrible at actually maintaining this mindset 90% of the time, but God is good, and grace is free! I'm looking forward to hearing about all of your experiences with meditation!