Adding To The Team!!!

Hi Admin!  Just wanted to let you know that Steve and I have added 2 more special people to this Blog study.  Steph Fry and Andy Clayton!!!  Steve has invited Steph and Andy to serve as advisory board members and join the year round leadership team here at Sonshine.  Steph and Andy both excepted the invite!  Steph and Andy have both served the camp faithfully for many years and will continue to do so now in different ways.  One way we are asking them to serve is by pouring themselves into the admin team and staff.  So Andy and Steph, thanks for continuing to allow God to use you here at Sonshine in yet another different way! Now bring on the Blogging!!!!!!!!

-Reid   

Below The Surface!

First allow me to say that starting a community study like such again has captured me with excitement.  I love reading your posts and comments and being encouraged by you at all hours of the day. 

What struck me from our reading was the very first/short paragraph of the first chapter.
"Superficiality is the curse of our age.  The doctrine of instant satisfaction is a primary spiritual problem.  The desperate need today is not for a greater number of intelligent people, or gifted people, BUT FOR DEEP PEOPLE."

Does that sound familiar?

"We believe that God is more interested in and people are more impacted by Character and Maturity rather than skill and ability"

Richard Foster wrote those words in 1978 and 33 years later the curse continues to dominate the Christian Church.  I fall victim to this curse when i crack open my Bible and read God's word to become a better Christian that day! Or to gleam some "new truth" I can share with people and look spiritual - all in the name of nobility of course!  But where this curse dominates me is every Sunday morning. I go to worship, sit in the pew, raise my hands, lift up my voice, and judge the worship leader on choice & execution of song.  I then proceed to dissect the sermon- To the Glory of God ...of course!  See where I am going......That behavior is not the answer to a hollow world. 

 The other real convicting part was page 2 - Thomas Merton's words, "But let us be convinced of the FACT that we will never be anything more than beginners, all our life."  Wow such freeing words and piercing words at the same time.  My hope is that I model that attitude and behavior to you all.  That I will always be a beginner.....ALWAYS!

Finally, I was struck by page 10- Foster talks about the need to manage other people and how we can turn the Disciplines into laws.  May we as an Admin team always Befriend, Encourage, MODEL, and Challenge the staff to a deeper and more intimate relationship with Christ rather than trying to manage them into relationship! 

Extremely encouraged right now!!!!

-Reid

Transform.Freedom. Want. Do Your Stuff!

"The disciplines allow us to place ourselves before God so that he can transform us." p. 7

"We [I, Jenn] must always remember that the path does not produce the change; it only places us where the change can occur." p. 8

"The needed change withing us is God's word, not ours." p. 6

What freedom in the above statements! We [I] cannot produce the change! Reading this book about spiritual disciplines will not produce an inner change in any of us if we simply go through the tasks of reading the scribbles on the pages and check it off the list. As Darren McWatters [teaching pastor of RockHarbor Church] likes to say, "There is not external solution for an internal problem." Yes, in the process of reading about spiritual discipline and becoming more familiar with them God will transform and shift our lives to line up more with His will. However, "The primary requirement is a longing after God. 'As a hart longs for flowing streams, so longs my soul for thee, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the Living God.' Ps. 42:1,2" p. 2 What a weight lifted off my shoulders! And what a joyous way to enter into this study with you lovely people, but most importantly entering into a great journey of the next 9 months of this life given by grace alongside you all.

Father, I echo St. Teresa of Avila's words (thank you Nina) as we begin this study, "I want to want to know you." Lord, give me the strength to allow you to move and the courage to respond by putting myself in the place where you can do the work. Where you can transform me. Teach me what it means to place myself before you and allow you to do your stuff. Amen.

Transformed

I am very excited to get more into this book and practice the spiritual disciplines! I went through this book a few years ago for a class at school, but I am looking forward to studying the disciplines again and perhaps feeling less pressure because it is not for a class/grade.

On page 7 Foster states, “the disciplines allow us to place ourselves before God so that He can transform us.” My heart is yearning to become more like Christ and get rid of all this grossness in me. It is not enough to just cover up the gross stuff in my life. I must actually get cleaned out and get rid of it.
This requires a transformation.
Constantly.

This reminds me of Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” God calls us to be transformed, different, changed people.

Sometimes I find myself in a rut in which I hopelessly cry out to God and ask Him why I do not feel changed and why do I still feel so bleh inside? I think this is because I forget to completely lay everything aside and find rest in Him. I get distracted by the many things in my life and so when I am with Him, I am not always willing for Him to dig inside and change this messed up heart around. Therefore, practicing the disciplines gets me excited because if I truly am practicing them, I am hoping my heart can really open up to Him transforming me even more than He already has so far. Foster then explains that the path (following the disciplines) itself does not produce change but it places us where change can occur. This is powerful for me because I often just need to be pushed to a place where transformation can happen.
I cannot be transformed on my own – I need His help.
And I cannot be transformed if I do not let Him.

Many Thoughts

Wow! What a great God! There are so many thoughts floating around my head, and we are only on Chapter 1!

So much of this first chapter goes back to the issue of identity. The big question comes up again and again...Who am I? According to Oprah, your twenties are a time of finding out who you are (making mistakes in college, stretching your wings, sewing the wild oats etc.), and by your thirties, you have learned from your mistakes, gotten those wild days out of your system, and then "voila" you know who you are. Well, phooey. I think I am still finding out who I am in some ways, and, in others, I know exactly who I am. I am still surprised at what I am capable of....gossip, jealousy, impatience, bitterness, being unforgiving, a serpent tongue. In those other ways, however, I am taken back to the "I Am Statements" we have studied. Who am I? I am a child of God, redeemed from the enemy, forgiven, sanctified, created for good works..." Yes, I know exactly who I am.

• "The greatest problems of our time are not technological, for these we handle fairly well. They are not even political or economic, because the difficulties in these areas, glaring as they may be, are largely derivative. The greatest problems are moral and spiritual, and unless we can make some progress in these realms, we may not even survive." (Forward xi)

As the political debates and interviews have been on t.v. the past few weeks, I find myself being quite confused as to who to believe. What is really true? Who is really true? I want to shout out, "Aren't there a few good men/women out there?" The problem, as Foster points out, is not a political one, but a moral and spiritual one. It is who we are that determines what kind of leader, teacher, student, business person, coach, etc. we will be. Oh, how our lives need to be cultivated by the Spirit!

• "We need not be well advanced in matters of theology to practice the Disciplines...The primary requirement is a longing after God." (p.2) Psalm 42:7 "Deep calls to deep."

When I read this sentence and verse, St. Teresa of Avila's words came to me: "Oh God, I don’t love you, I don’t even want to love you, but I want to want to love you!" That is my cry. Lord, I want to want to love you!

• "The life that is pleasing to God is not a series of religious duties. We have only one thing to do, namely, to experience a life of relationship and intimacy with God." (p. 4)

A few weeks ago, Steve, Reid and I were talking about identity and how we, as Christians, can split and fragment grace by "performing" at church and in our Christian lives, instead of just "being". Reid called this, "A Dichotomy of the Grace Paradox". There are times when I wrap up my Christian identity in what I do at church/ministry, with who I am. "I am a Young Adults leader." "I am an usher." "I give the announcements." NO! I am healed by His stripes, daily overcoming evil, an imitator of Jesus.

• "Willpower will never succeed in dealing with the deeply ingrained habits of sin." (p. 5)

There is no way we can "pull ourselves up by our bootstraps" save ourselves, and make ourselves not sin. Sure, we can flee (as Joseph fled from Potiphar's wife) and put ourselves in situations where we won't be tempted, but to rid ourselves of this internal structure by sheer willpower and determination? Impossible. Only God can transform us. Dear Lord, let us provide the right conditions for you to grow the grain! Sow us to the Spirit and get us into the ground.

• "We do no more than receive the gift, yet we know the changes are real. We know they are real because we discover that the spirit of compassion we once found so hard to exhibit is now easy." (p.8)

I remember in the late 90s a few Sonshine staff were in a car making our way back to the docks (we may have even been on DeVries Rd.) and Steve gave a great analogy about growing and (eventually) seeing changes in our journey with Christ. When I read the above passage from the book, it came back to me. I hope it is ok that I am sharing this, Steve! You told us about how you once played an opponent in tennis and the score was very close. Your opponent ended up winning and you both parted ways. For months, you practiced but you felt like you were not getting any better. It was the same old serves, the same old jumps, the same swings. You felt like you were just...."stuck". That is, until you competed against that same opponent months later. You wiped the floor with him! It turns out that while you were practicing those "same old serves" and "same old swings," you were getting better, you were growing.

Although the Foster quote talks about us receiving the gift, we do (as mentioned before) have the ability to provide the right conditions for God to grow the grain. What once we may have found hard to exhibit at one point, is now easy.

Holy Father...in this moment, quiet my heart. Help me to look beyond my own poor attempts at righteousness...to understand the beauty of your holy humility...as you come to walk with me...to live in me. Amen!

Relational Awakening

The following words speak beautifully the power and challenge of relational ministry. I underlined these words in the book and wrote at the end of the paragraph - Relational Ministry.

"If we are full of compassion, it will be revealed; if we are full of bitterness, that also will be revealed." (If we just stepped in dog poo on the front lawn and wiped it in the carpet from our shoes as we type, it will be revealed...... - GOD WHY?)

"It is not that we plan to be this way. We have no intention of exploding with anger or of parading a sticky arrogance, but when we are with people, what we are comes out. Though we may try with all our might to hide these things, we are betrayed by our eyes, our tongue, our chin, our hands, our whole body language. Willpower has no defense against the careless word the unguarded moment."

(Man it smells like sweatty, dog poo in here.)

Aside from the two parentheses this passage came from page 6.

In community/relational ministry/this blog, Christ reveals His good heart and my inadequacy.
In isolation I protect my heart.

In isolation I can fake a life and pretend I am complete and not inadequate.

In community I am embarrassed and do stupid, humbling stuff - (dumb dog!)
In isolation I can be clean and proud and hide the poop and embarrassment.

In community I am crucified on a tree and no longer live.
In isolation I hide from the tree as God walks through His garden and calls, "Steve, where are you?"

In isolation I whisper to my lonely soul -- "I'm lost."

God, thank you for this community. It is your gift to each one of us to be drawn to your cross. Your cross is the core, the power, the root, the absolute infusion of life into community. Thank you for your heart poured out at Calvary in sacrificial love, God.

Your heart poured out has an immeasurable power to snap me out of my delusional dream that its better to be lost than to be found in you and found with your church/community.

The Deep Places

I just want to start this blog with the confession that I care entirely too much about what people think of me. Most of my blog experience last year was consumed in this. I often worried and questioned if what I wrote was acceptable, profound, or important. The pressure that was placed on me, was completely and entirely placed there by myself. I do not wish to continue like that. So I'm starting the blog with an honest confession; I care what you think of me.

Although it is true that I find you all very important, I know that approaching the blog in this way will only lead to a lack of honesty, moments of holding back, and will ultimately create a distance in allowing you to truly know me and grow with me. So in an attempt to cut out the unnecessary, I am committing to blog more honestly, freely and openly. Please hold me to this!

Celebration of Discipline:

In reading this week I think my focus has been drawn to how much I honestly long to know Christ more. I was instantly attracted to read about these lives (classic christian writers) that seemed to know without a doubt the realities, truths and character of God. They lived lives dwelling in the deep things of God. This type of life is so fascinating to me and I desire to live there as well. There is this continued sense that there is a depth that I have not reached, and I am longing for deeper places. My book is filled with underlinings of statements like:

"They experienced Jesus as the defining reality of their lives. They possessed a flaming vision of God that blinded them to all competing loyalties" (p.xiv).

"...soak in the stories of these women and men who were aflame with the fire of divine love..."(p.xiv)

"The Knowledge of the Holy - they know God in ways far beyond anything I had ever experienced" (p.xiv).

"...what I saw was someone thirsting for the things of God" (p.xv).

"...sweet sinking into Deity" (p. xv)

"The classical Disciplines of the spiritual life call us to move beyond surface living into the depths" (p.1).

At the end of reading this week, it left me desiring more in my understanding and relationship with God. This is such a great desire. However, I feel like my current exhaustion, jadedness, and selfish nature pulls me away from fully taking advantage of all God is offering me (very much a battle of flesh and spirit). The deep parts of me long for Christ and his deep places, but other parts long to rebel and stay on the surface.

What is hugely significant for me right now is that tomorrow marks 10 years of my following Christ. Its not something that I remember every year, but this year I have. Tomorrow represents a moment in history when an ordinary 16 year old girl discovered the truth of life & a God of amazing grace and love. Its is greatly significant because it represents a time of complete heart change, life summation, and a desire to know the fullness of God.

That same desire is showing its little head 10 years later through the reading of this book. I am still a ordinary child that is struck by the truth and love of God, and curious to know the fullness of Him. Although I am a completely different person today as I was then, the core of me seems to still be present. A core the desires to dwell in the deep things of God, but is often hindered by herself, the world, and the dark forces at work.

In closing, I am extremely excited to continue to walk through these disciplines with you all. I would hope that this time would be a rich time for us to dwell in the deep places and to be reminded of what God truly means to us. My hope is that "The Disciplines allow us to place ourselves before God so that he can transform us" (p.7). Much love for you all!

Blessings,

"Freedom from stifling slavery"

So I already mentioned that I'm really excited to be going through this book with you all, mainly because I feel like it's just popping up way to much all at once to be anything other than a pretty direct hint from my Father.

What I've been realizing as I've been reading this book over the past couple weeks with my Growth Group girls - as well as just in life since summer - is that I absolutely stink at being disciplined. And I know we all know we're flawed and never quite measure up to all our ideals, but I think this realization has been a particularly bitter pill for me to swallow because I've always thought I was exceptionally disciplined. It's something I've always prided myself on (dangerous words) and something I've always been affirmed in.

But I'm NOT at all! In fact, recently, it seems that whatever shred of a disciplined spiritual life I used to cling to is slipping away, and as much as I try to find some stable ground to rest on, I'm just floundering.

The second tough realization that goes along with all this is that the reason I'm so terrible at being disciplined is that everything that was masquerading as discipline before was nothing like the Biblical version of discipline I'm being called to.

Foster talks about "will worship", and this is definitely the trap I fall into. I am worthy only to the extent that I can exert my will and measure up. "But the struggle is in vain, and we find ourselves once again morally bankrupt or, worse yet, so proud of our external righteousness that 'whitened sepulchers' is a mild description of our condition" (5) <- a perfect summary of the discouragement I'm stuck in right now. The kind of "discipline" that I tend towards is either legalistic and stifling or just dull and lifeless.

The purpose of discipline is liberation from the stifling slavery to self-interest and fear (2).

But I am SO self-interested and SO amazingly fearful.

On the one hand I feel so helpless to impose any sort of discipline on my spiritual life (both healthy and unhealthy discipline), and at the same time I feel stranded without this piece of my identity that I'm realizing was never there in the first place.

All this to say... I'm looking forward to walking through the next weeks with you all. I hope Jesus just destroys all my preconceived ideas and whatever pride I have left. I need Him to destroy them.

Let the Teacher do the Teaching

Going into this study, I am super excited to experience many spiritual Disciplines that I have never pursued with much intention before. So before reading today, I thought to myself, “Ok, it’s just the intro this week, nothing major to see here, just setting up the next 12 weeks of when the real stuff happens.” This wasn’t the case.

I made it through most of the chapter at a quick pace. I underlined a few things and gathered a framework from which to approach the next 12 Disciplines, namely “We must always remember that the path does not produce the change; it only places us where the change can occur.” [p. 8]

But the last two pages hit me somewhere I didn’t want to be touched.

Pride continues to be a battle I face in every season of life. When I gain a skill, achievement, depth of relationship, recognition, anything else to feed my self-worth apart from grace, pride is quick to follow. My time in Colorado is no exception.

“Pride takes over because we come to believe we are the right kind of person.” [p. 10] I’ve bought into this lie. I’ve come to believe I’m the right kind of person because of past accomplishments, present works, and future plans. As this attitude takes hold, not only do I believe I’m the “right” kind of person, but I quickly “realize” how many “wrong” kind of people are out there. “Once we have made a law, we have an ‘externalism’ by which we judge who is measuring up and who is not.” [p. 10]

Contrast this with the story of Elisha in 2 Kings 6. The Syrian king is pissed that Elisha keeps prophetically thwarting his plans to ambush the King of Israel, so he sends a massive army to capture Elisha.

“15 When the servant of the man of God rose early in the morning and went out, behold, an army with horses and chariots was all around the city. And the servant said, "Alas, my master! What shall we do?"16 He said, "Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them."17 Then Elisha prayed and said, "O Lord, please open his eyes that he may see." So the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.” – 2 Kings 6:15-17

From the beginning of this story, Elisha is confident of the Lord’s presence during this trying time. Notice his first reaction is not to rebuke the servant for his inability to believe as Elisha does. First, it is comforting, “Do not be afraid.” Second, Elisha shares his personal confidence in the Lords faithfulness to them, “for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”

This is great, and I could nod my head along with the story up until now all I want. What he does next frustrates and humbles me. “Elisha prayed and said, ‘O Lord, please open his eyes that he may see.’” Elisha recognizes that he is not the be-all, end-all. He does not have the corner on truth. Note that the passage never says Elisha saw the Lord’s horses and chariots of fire, only that the servant saw them. Why?

Because God gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it.

He gives it. Not me. And He gives it to each one of us individually, purposefully, and more perfectly than we ever could.

“When we genuinely believe that inner transformation is God’s work and not ours, we can put to rest our passion to set others straight.” [p. 10]

I need to let go and let the Teacher do the Teaching, all the while understanding that the person He’s really trying to teach is me. Nobody graduates from Jesus school!

-Mike

Welcome Admin Team!

Here we go again....Another summer is waiting for the in-breaking Kingdom to Come!  My hope is that this study would help us see the Kingdom clearer, taste the Kingdom richer, hear the Kingdom louder, smell the Kingdom sweeter, and touch the Kingdom afresh and anew together. 

"Come Lord Jesus come and do whatever it is you want to do in us and through us...for your Kingdom and for your glory"

-Amen

Reid