The Deep Places

I just want to start this blog with the confession that I care entirely too much about what people think of me. Most of my blog experience last year was consumed in this. I often worried and questioned if what I wrote was acceptable, profound, or important. The pressure that was placed on me, was completely and entirely placed there by myself. I do not wish to continue like that. So I'm starting the blog with an honest confession; I care what you think of me.

Although it is true that I find you all very important, I know that approaching the blog in this way will only lead to a lack of honesty, moments of holding back, and will ultimately create a distance in allowing you to truly know me and grow with me. So in an attempt to cut out the unnecessary, I am committing to blog more honestly, freely and openly. Please hold me to this!

Celebration of Discipline:

In reading this week I think my focus has been drawn to how much I honestly long to know Christ more. I was instantly attracted to read about these lives (classic christian writers) that seemed to know without a doubt the realities, truths and character of God. They lived lives dwelling in the deep things of God. This type of life is so fascinating to me and I desire to live there as well. There is this continued sense that there is a depth that I have not reached, and I am longing for deeper places. My book is filled with underlinings of statements like:

"They experienced Jesus as the defining reality of their lives. They possessed a flaming vision of God that blinded them to all competing loyalties" (p.xiv).

"...soak in the stories of these women and men who were aflame with the fire of divine love..."(p.xiv)

"The Knowledge of the Holy - they know God in ways far beyond anything I had ever experienced" (p.xiv).

"...what I saw was someone thirsting for the things of God" (p.xv).

"...sweet sinking into Deity" (p. xv)

"The classical Disciplines of the spiritual life call us to move beyond surface living into the depths" (p.1).

At the end of reading this week, it left me desiring more in my understanding and relationship with God. This is such a great desire. However, I feel like my current exhaustion, jadedness, and selfish nature pulls me away from fully taking advantage of all God is offering me (very much a battle of flesh and spirit). The deep parts of me long for Christ and his deep places, but other parts long to rebel and stay on the surface.

What is hugely significant for me right now is that tomorrow marks 10 years of my following Christ. Its not something that I remember every year, but this year I have. Tomorrow represents a moment in history when an ordinary 16 year old girl discovered the truth of life & a God of amazing grace and love. Its is greatly significant because it represents a time of complete heart change, life summation, and a desire to know the fullness of God.

That same desire is showing its little head 10 years later through the reading of this book. I am still a ordinary child that is struck by the truth and love of God, and curious to know the fullness of Him. Although I am a completely different person today as I was then, the core of me seems to still be present. A core the desires to dwell in the deep things of God, but is often hindered by herself, the world, and the dark forces at work.

In closing, I am extremely excited to continue to walk through these disciplines with you all. I would hope that this time would be a rich time for us to dwell in the deep places and to be reminded of what God truly means to us. My hope is that "The Disciplines allow us to place ourselves before God so that he can transform us" (p.7). Much love for you all!

Blessings,