Another Dark Night of the Soul Post

I'm amazed at this moment about how God reveals himself in community. If you read the post that Pearl shared "Dark Night of the Soul" on Monday, you just heard a mini-sermon I preached as an introduction to the parable of the sower in Mathew 13 that I preached on Sunday. Pearl - your words in many, many ways were God's words in me as well. Incredible. In my dark night experience I had one reminder and one discovery.

First the reminder -- "I felt reminded that Christ, filled with a bonafide baptism of the Holy Spirt" was immediately sent to the desert where he nearly starved to death and had the snot beaten out of him with temptation by Satan." God reminded me that being filled with the Holy Spirit is sometimes an emptying of anything and everything so that we can feed perhaps more voraciously on our Father's words of Love "You are my beloved child."

Second the Discovery -- "As I considered the reminder (Jesus was sent to the wilderness and His story and His baptism is our story and our baptism) I still had a few moments where I said, "c'mon God, its the holiday season. Why send me into the wilderness during the holidays? Seriously, am I messed up? Did you messed up? Are we both rejects in the land of misfit toys? What's going on?"

(On a sidenote - these feelings/questions were very strange because it was a great, great holiday season for our family - great weather, wonderful parties, interviews were terrific, food was fun, on the surface it was the smoothest, funnest holiday season we've had as a family.) The irony is that on the surface circumstances were very positive and yet internally I felt God was eating me up with disappointment and emptiness -- FOR NO REASON!!!!!!!

As I asked these questions several times during the holiday season of fun, parties, happy kids, celebration, great interviews, and a bunch of other cool stuff I heard the voice of God (Feel free to doubt me on this but I'm telling you I heard Him.)

In Short,

Steve: "God, why the dark night of the soul? This is ridiculous?"
God: "It's Christmas."

Our conversation on the surface might not make sense. I'll try to explain.

God: "Steve, you are experiencing labor pains."
1. Loss of this world, and life of the new kingdom.
2. Pain of giving birth to Christ and having your heart break for the loss of your intimacy with Him in the garden of Eden.
3. Pain of having your heart break for the wounds and sufferings of others.
4. Pain of having God pressing down until figuratively of course the air of this dead, dark world has been completed expelled from your lungs (this happens to each of us who have been down the birth canal by the way) so that your lifeless dust can be filled with the creator's kiss.
5. Pain of having me cut away (spiritual umbilical cord) anything that sustains you in this world that's not the heart and life of Christ.
6. John 16:33 - Take heart, I (God) have overcome the world and you are being born to the other side. (see John 16:20-33 below.)

What has been so fascinating to me is that as fast as the Christmas tempest of dark night soul came, it then left. The sequence of events is a little blurry but on hindsight I'm left wondering if the storm clouds cleared at midnight on the 26th? Who knows? Regardless of exactly when the wind and waves were stilled, God's choice in me was to celebrate Christmas with spiritual labor and a sense of new life "love, joy, and peace" on the other side (calendarwise) of Christmas day.

In a tweaked way, I'm already looking forward to next Christmas because by faith I expect that there's a strong possibility that the reality of Christ's birth might not only be words that I confess but (to a limited extent) a reality being pounded into my heart and mind. As is written I think in the Ultra Packet - this holiday season I greatly underestimated the "pain" of giving birth to Christ, but I also underestimated the "gain" of experiencing His new life.

John 16:20-33
I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy. A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy. In that day you will no longer ask me anything. I tell you the truth, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.

“Though I have been speaking figuratively, a time is coming when I will no longer use this kind of language but will tell you plainly about my Father. In that day you will ask in my name. I am not saying that I will ask the Father on your behalf. No, the Father himself loves you because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God. I came from the Father and entered the world; now I am leaving the world and going back to the Father.”

Then Jesus’ disciples said, “Now you are speaking clearly and without figures of speech. Now we can see that you know all things and that you do not even need to have anyone ask you questions. This makes us believe that you came from God.”

“You believe at last!”[b] Jesus answered. “But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”